HOW TO DATE A ROCK STAR (AND GET AWAY WITH IT) IN TEN EASY STEPS
When you’re in love, you do some pretty crazy things. And when you’re in love with a rockstar? Nothing is ever easy. So I will impart to you the wisdom I have collected, so when you meet a suspender-wearing, orange-headed rockstar at the beach, you’ll know exactly how to handle that hipster hottie.
1. Do not buy underwear with anyone’s face on them. (Even if it’s sexy Mc-Sexy-Sex Bruno Mars, don’t do it. Restrain yourself. Go for the granny panties instead.)
2. Kill his ego with fire. (Unless, of course, he’s already hit rock bottom. Then just let him buy you an ice cream and enjoy the free food. Ice cream doth not serious commitment maketh… but it can lead to a second date.)
3. Your best friend is wise, young padawan. (Seriously, your best friend is obsessed with this guy. She knows everything about him down to his pinky toe that sort of overlaps his fourth toe and the toe is kind of weird but kind of cute, too—but obviously more weird than cute.)
4. Don’t hesitate to get physical. (Especially when the paparazzi attack. And they will attack in droves. The rockstar you’re dating is like the Waldo of pop culture. If the paparazzi decide to ruin date night, ruin them right in the sweet spot.)
5. Don’t judge his best friend by his kilt. (In fact, make friends with the mohawk-stylin’ guy in the kilt. He’ll be your greatest ally. True story, brohaho.)
6. Your parents can and will ground you. They will also chase the paparazzi harassing you off their lawn. (Use this power wisely. You still live under their roof. Their word is law. And for the love of God, don’t step on the daisies!)
7. Try to be inconspicuous. (Nothing says ROCKSTAR’S GIRLFRIEND quite like pink hair.)
8. If Plan A fails, always have a Plan B. (This goes for pretty much everything in your life, but if you find yourself in a pickle and there are paparazzi breathing down your neck, Plan B will be your saving grace. It might also land you in jail.)
9. Break things. (Rules, hearts, guitars, someone’s face—use your imagination!)
10. You Are Enough. (Even when people tell you you aren’t, even when the rag mags wonder why a guy like him is with a girl like you—You. Are. Enough. You are more than enough. You are everything, and anything, and all things combined. He is with you because you are enough. Because you are plenty. Because you are everything he needs. But even without him, You Are Enough.)
Now go forth, my fellow rockoholics! Be wild, be free, be exceptionally skilled at singing along to your favorite songs! And hopefully, with just a little luck, you can hook a hipster hottie, too. Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility, and sometimes the greatest of romances fall from the greatest of heights.
THE SOUND OF US
by Ashley Poston
America’s favorite pop band, Roman Holiday, is done, dead, and so totally last year. For eighteen-year-old rockoholic Junie Baltimore, this is music to her ears. But when she discovers their sexy ex-lead singer hiding out on the boardwalk, her summer vacation becomes the cover story of the year.
She’s willing to keep him a secret, but when a sleazy paparazzo offers her the cash she needs to save the bar her father left behind, could she sell out for the chance to save her future? Who is she kidding? That’s a no-brainer…but she never planned on falling head over heels for the lead singer.
ASHLEY POSTON’s debut novel, THE SOUND OF US, is a quirky rock-‘n-roll-infused beach read from Bloomsbury Spark. You can find it wherever ebooks are sold.
Tweet her @AshPoston and visit her at www.ashleynposton.com.